During our preparation for this mission work, Jonathan had kindly given us material to read that discussed the "do's" and "don'ts" of mission work. One section explained the problem of Going Native versus Cultural Isolation. It explored the tendency for missionaries to either try to infuse themselves into the culture to the point of denying their own identity, hence "going native." The other side is that of those who lock themselves away in their culture bubble in a way that never allows them to experience the culture and the people to whom they serve. Both of these tendencies have proven unsuccessful. With the first, one is ignoring the fact they are not, and never will be "one of them," and in trying to become one of them, one makes it that much more obvious that they are indeed different. The isolation factor is more visibly evident, as the person falling into this way of life is blatantly different, and will therefore never be accepted by the people from whom they have removed themselves. The author recommends finding a healthy balance of infusion between your culture and theirs. Remembering that you are the foreigner who needs to yield, while still allowing yourself certain comforts and familiarities of your homeland. I have striven to find this balance for Bradley and I, and although I cannot admit to 100% success, I feel that overall success has been achieved.
One way we chose to find balance was with our meals. Like every other Khmer home, we always have rice available for ourselves and others; we are ready to eat on the floor, if our guests are more comfortable with that practice; and at least 90% of our produce comes from the street markets. However, being American, we always have oats available for oatmeal for breakfast; we dine regularly on our table or couch, as is the practice of our homeland; and all of our meat comes packaged and refrigerated from the super markets. Throughout the month I sprinkle in Khmer dishes, whenever they work and sound yummy, but like back home, the majority of our diet consists of Tex-Mex type meals. Marissa discovered an awesome tortilla recipe that she was kind enough to share, and it has become one of my favorite things to prepare, as I know the pleasure awaiting my palette once that dough comes together. Never in my life has so much of my time been consumed by food preparation, and then the inconvenience of not having a sink in my prep area does not help. The first several months were rocky in my kitchen, as I worked to find new ways to make familiar meals with sometimes unfamiliar ingredients and/or methods, but for over a year now I have felt confident "stepping into my apron."
Unfortunately, I still struggle finding fulfillment in food preparation. Naturally, I am not a food person. I so enjoy food, but I am one of those weirdos who does not understand how food and conversation go together. If you have spent much time around me, you may have noticed that at get togethers, I tend to be eating by myself, or one of the last ones who sits down to eat. This has nothing to do with not wanting to be with people, but quite the opposite. I do not know anyone who would argue the fact that I enjoy talking and am eager to share a good story, but when it comes to food, I just want to eat. My mother used to get on to me for scarfing my meals down, but I never understood why. I was hungry, and in sitting down to eat, my goal was to end that hunger. Talking only slows that process, and as long as I am chewing properly, there is no reason to slow down... at least in my mind that makes sense. So, for me, food is a necessity, rather than an event. Well, if you know my husband, he is "normal" when it comes to his food habits. Not only is it an event, the more people to converse with during a meal, the better. I have had to learn that although I would be fine with a bowl of cereal or a baked potato for a meal, my husband feels loved when I put in the effort to care for his culinary needs. I am ashamed to admit that the thought of stopping whatever I am doing to spend 2-4 hours preparing and cleaning up after mealtime is frustrating. It makes me feel derailed... even though it is my job. Part of this frustration comes from not having children. I never dreamed I would be a housewife without children. When I watched the boys, food preparation was just a part of my day. Since children center me, I was able to accomplish so much when I had Zach and Max as a part of my day, life, and job. Even though I want to serve Bradley in this capacity, I have to fight the thought "but he can feed himself," and then I feel like a jerk. A while back Bradley shared with me that he feels the most loved and cared for when I take care of our meals. Aside from the pang of guilt I felt, this knowledge was a boost to my frame of mind: to know that I can say "I love you" without saying a word is encouraging. It has inspired me to step outside of my comfort zone. Even though baking in Cambodia is not ideal, I have taken up my rubber spatulas in the name of love!
In an attempt to make food more of an event, and more enjoyable for myself, I turn on music fitting for the cuisine. We play a lot of Latino Jazz during meal preparations, but both old-fashioned Italian and classic country (for southern-style cooking) make regular appearances in our home. Here are a few of my creations over the past year-and-a-half...
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| Fajitas with homemade tortillas and Mexican rice |
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| Homemade spring rolls and sweet chili sauce |
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| Offical Khmer dish: Lok Lak with beef |
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| Homemade tomato sauce with fettuccine; home- made focaccia {one of my favs!!!}; and sparkling strawberry juice - delizioso! |
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| Jalapéno cheese pizza with bread machine pizza crust and garlic cheese bread (ever since Jonathan found affordable cheese we have gone crazy with the dairy delight) |
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| Jalapéno chicken cheese enchiladas with sour cream sauce featuring those awesome homemade tortillas - muy bien! |
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| Homemade creamed corn; mashed potatoes; bread machine rolls; steak fingers made with pork since it is less expensive and more available; we topped it off with oolong sweet tea - finger lickin' good! |
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| Homemade garlic naan with curry rice and butter chicken (not from scratch, but altered the sauce to be less tomato-y) - बहुत अच्छा (bahut achchha)! |
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| Traditionally this Indian bread is prepared over the grill, but we opted to do it in our non-stick skillet... umm, no complaints whatsoever. They were fluffier, which is a plus in my cook book. |
Although I am no where near mastering the mighty spatula, I feel much more at home in the kitchen, and am willing to step outside of my comfort zone to try new things... even from scratch. To some this seems so silly, but to me composing an outline and writing an essay is a piece of cake... for me that is easier and more enjoyable than making a piece of cake. ;o) Never did I dream that I would be spending so much time and effort on food when we committed to this work, but I have. However, I have a feeling Elijah never dreamed of lying beside a brook for more than the length of a nap, but I have learned that we are not always called to do what fulfills us... I guess that is because it is not about us. So, I have striven to keep my hands busy, my kitchen filled, and my husband happy. In turn, I have found joy in touring the world through my stomach, and I feel blessed that our Heavenly Father has provided the means for us to relish such a variety of flavors. My hat goes off to those around the world who can pick up a spoon and whip up any culinary delight at a moment's notice. Know that you have a gift, and that I, for one, admire your talent. I may not win every cooking battle, but whenever it is appropriate, I will always remember the á la mode! Cheers!
Are you thrilled every time you step into your apron?
What are some of your favorite culinary adventures?
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