Riepjam or The Engagement

The Khmer word for engagement or preparation is riepjam, pronounced "re-ep-jahm." Every culture has their own spin on the prenuptial experience, and after attending our Landlord's engagement ceremony, I would say the Khmer engagement is a cross between an American engagement party and a traditional Jewish betrothal, with a SouthEast Aisan flare of course.

A couple of months ago, our Landlord arrived home to announce that she had been successful in finding a husband in Austraila (husband hunting is an acceptable career here), and as her luck would have it, he happens to be Khmer too. She was adorable with her excitement in having found a man who would support her and who also has a desire for children. In sharing her good fortune, she requested our presence at their engagement ceremony early the next morning. We happily accepted, and went about the task of trying our best to guess how to dress for such an occasion. Since we have now attended two Khmer weddings, we felt fairly confident in our choice of apparel, even though we felt a little silly dressing up to walk down stairs... then we entered their home feeling a little under dressed...

Their living room had been transformed into a small

parlor/pagoda/something-unique-to-Cambodia with

our landlord and her fiancé's names for all to see.

The middle of the room was covered with gifts of fruit.

Since we had come empty-handed, I began to worry, but my fears were soon squelched as everyone hurried to find us a good seat and sneak pictures of the white people who live upstairs. Every one was wearing their best, and the ceremony began... I think.

The monk/ordinator gentleman read and chanted some stuff, and occasionally the ladies, who we believed to be the mothers and aunts of the couple, would verbally agree with whatever he was saying. The men appeared bored and uncomfortable, and the women were excited and/or outwardly acknowledged the importance of this moment... so pretty much the same as back home, minus the whole Cambodian chant part. ;o)

Every time the gentleman began a new part of the ceremony, we would look around to see if we were supposed to do something, but usually the men looked as lost and confused as we were, while the women were busy taking pictures or whispering... maybe our cultures are not as different as I had once thought...

Just when we were beginning to wonder if the couple would be included in their engagement ceremony, the lovely couple appeared... for a moment. Then they were gone again, and the gentleman resumed his speech.

Her fiancé has grown accustomed to his A/C in Australia,

and he was sweating more than Bradley and I were... poor guy.

Banana leaf folding 101

For this part of the ceremony, the leader guy (sorry I do not know what they are called) took a leaf and began to fold it as he told a story. It was hard not to chuckle as the ladies did their best to act like they knew what they were doing. Then they passed the leaf envelope around for each of us to hold... maybe signifying everyone's approval and acceptance of this union? 

Candle ceremony uniting the families.

Fingerprint ceremony... just in case... you never know...

Finally! The couple are asked to join their ceremony.

Is she not adorable!?

The couple accepting their commitment... I think...

This was fun to watch since he could not figure out

when or how to do anything... she was glad to help though.

After the ceremony concluded, lots of photos were taken, and they wanted us included in their memories. So we stood with the couple for a photo or two before being dismissed to go rest while they prepared lunch. We were unsure if we were supposed to stay dressy or dress down for lunch, so we opted for the first in case their were all garbed up still. When we arrived for lunch they were happy to share their fruit bounty and a lettuce wrap type of dish. We practiced our Khmer with their family and friends who were now all dressed in street clothes... oh well.

We felt blessed to be welcomed into Srey Muht's home, and on such a special occasion too.

This is a persimmon.

Bradley: "Take this picture for Aubrey."

Aubrey, if Carli reads this to you, you can know that you and your persimmon cobbler are thought of every time we see the monster persimmons here. RIP persimmon cobbler. No, seriously, do not ever resurrect that thing. Please.

If you have any funny, interesting or unique engagement stories or experiences, please share. Cheers!