Out with the New, and In with the Old

Yes, you read that correctly. In this first month of this new year, many around the world are working on throwing out bad habits, promoting healthy practices, and creating new goals. It is peculiar how when most people I know are chanting the mantra, "out with the old, in with the new," I am doing the opposite. As this new year gets under way, I am dumbstruck with the fact that we are officially in countdown mode for moving home.

How did this happen?
Where did the time go?
Why am I so conflicted about moving home?

So many emotions, thoughts, and questions continue running through my head, and sleep has not come as easily these past few weeks. Bradley and I have already had our family business meeting in preparation for the rest of our stay here, and it is surreal to calendar deadlines to sell our furniture, rent out our flat, and purchase our airline tickets. As I entered the numerous dates into our calendar, I was excited to have deadlines, as I work well under pressure, but I also struggled with this tug of sadness. This inner turmoil is so strange, although not foreign.

Foreign.

What does that even mean anymore? When I first came to Cambodia, foreign meant from a different country, but, for me, its meaning has evolved. Now, the idea of moving to America seems foreign. Even though I am anxious to return to the modern conveniences and comforts to which I am accustomed, this dusty, crowded country has become comfortable, and leaving is, well, strange.

Although we have done our best to be minimalistic in our purchases, we have accrued quite a bit of things during our year and a half. Soon, all of these "new" things will need to go. Some items will be sold, some shared with others, some tossed, as they have seen better days, and a few select possessions will make the trek home with us in 5 months. When we arrive home, I will have the lovely task of sorting through all of our belongings which are stored in 6 different locations - yeah, I am really jazzed about that. *eye roll* So, essentially we will be getting rid of new things so that we can in turn, go home to our old things. Our view on what we need has been drastically altered by our life in Cambodia. There are numerous things that will now be easy to part with, knowing that so many have so much less in this world. We are even considering moving into a tiny home when we return, since it may be the best solution for our new life situation.

Things are not the only new-to-old on our minds. We have made new friends here, both local and foreign. The thought of leaving the Chans breaks our hearts. Our brother and sister in Christ have been such a precious blessing to us in our work here. Leaving the Edwards will be sad, and knowing that, Lord willing, it is only for a short time, lessens the sting. Then I think of Karen, Nika, Sokcheat, Trina, Chris, Navi, Thida, Seyha, Senyn, and the list continues. All of these new friends have shared in my life in this Asian Kingdom, and it saddens me to contemplate leaving.

 So many firsts have occurred, and so many memories have been made...

first plane ride to Cambodia together...

first tuk tuk ride...

first communion...

first playtime before our first service...

first Sunday lunch...

first meeting with the landlord...

first contract signing...

first moto ride to our new home...

first Khmer-like load...

oh, and yes, I rode on the back of that... somehow...

first meal in our new home...

first game in their new home while mommy

and daddy take care of business...

first road trip...

first bible study in a new place...

first best friend in a new country...

As sorrowful as it is to imagine leaving our life and friends here, to think of returning home to my old friends lifts my spirit. All of the familiar faces, smiles, and hugs bring a smile to my own face. Vanny has made me sad several times, asking us to stay longer, but the thought of not being home with my family is too overwhelming. Aside from that, Bradley and I put our lives on hold for this work, and although we are the better for it, we are ready to move forward. We still have a hope for children; we have plans for a business; and we are excited to be a part of a work in our homeland.

We plan to stay situated in our flat until mid-April, as my brother, Byron will be visiting us the first week of that month. I have wondered what he will think about both our place and us. How much change has occurred since his last visit in January of 2015? So much has happened. At that time we were roughly 65% moved into our home, and I was enduring the homesick blues, something about which I had been warned by an experienced sister who had also done foreign work. Now, our home is very much lived in, and the homesick blues are long gone. I am proud of the home we have made together, and even though I often yearn to either turn down the heat or have A/C in the living space, I absolutely love being in my home. God has been so good to us here, as He has always been. I am enjoying each page of this final chapter in Cambodia, and am also thrilled to dive into the new chapter and whatever adventures it may hold. With the Lord's help, we are prepared to do whatever He needs, as we slowly welcome His shift in our focus to "out with the new, and in with the old."

Do you have any new year plans or goals?
Have you ever had the focus of "out with the new and in with the old?"