Cambodiastes (Cambodia + Ecclesiastes)

As we wrapped up our lives in Phnom Penh, so many thoughts, emotions, and memories flooded over me. As Bradley has said many times, we went to teach others, but we feel as though we have learned more than we have taught. Although my wisdom is still lacking, I would like to share what I have gained from 2 years in the foreign land of Cambodia...

1. Dirt is a great teacher. I can live with dirt on my floors. It will not kill me. Patience is feeling the grit crunch under my clean feet, after nearly an hour of sweeping, and turning the moment into an opportunity to gain patience and smile, thankful I still have feeling in my feet.

2. Being monolingual does not signify a lack of intelligence. I am ashamed to admit that I tend to assume someone who does not speak my language is less intelligent than me, and I am not the only one. After having people treat me like a helpless imbecile, simply because I do not understand a different language, has heightened my awareness of how I view others. It has also upped my respect for those who do make the effort to learn a new language. Although I have never disrespected or acted unkindly toward anyone who does not speak English, I now make a conscious effort to reach out to any one who makes the slightest effort to step outside of their language comfort box.

3. Mission work does not have to be miserable. Even though I was able to survive without a refrigerator, mattress, and washer for a short while, with every purchase, I felt the burden lighten. The ease, rest, and peace these items gave me, along with some advice from older missionaries, has made me realize that it is okay to be comfortable. We did without where we had to, and we grew in gratitude when we did not have to sacrifice comfort.

4. Temporary can still be meaningful. As a child, I moved around often, attending 5 different school districts before high school. It was always a struggle to be the new kid, but it taught me the value of reaching out and meeting new people. Just because time together will most likely be short-term in person, does not mean a new friendship will be any less significant in my life. Cambodia has solidified this for me. I am a better person, for the long haul, because of the people who temporarily participated in my day-to-day life in the Kingdom of Wonder. Even a one-time meeting can be life enhancing if I choose for it be so. Every person is a creation of God, and I savor every moment I have to connect with a piece of my Father.

5. Planning is essential and futile. The Almighty has been teaching me this lesson for a while, but I think it has finally rooted... I think. In high school, I recall answering the question: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years? Well, aside from college and marriage, I am not sure if I have fulfilled those goals. The main reason: my control is limited. Every goal and dream of mine has always included children, but I have no control over my infertility. There are things I have done that I never planned on doing, and there are things that I planned that I may never be able to do. In going to Cambodia, we each had a plan, but our control was limited because we are human. As I believe it is all about the balance of being both a responsible steward of the time and resources God has given me, as well as a yielding servant, ready to fulfill His will, not mine, I will continue to make plans. But I will do my best to grow in flexibility and patience as He carries out His plan, regardless of mine.

6. The 'Rat Race' is for rats. Bradley and I have grown to love the slower pace of life, as it allows us to actually live, not just survive. We have seen the benefit in how much more productive we can be when we are happy. We have to work to find the balance between work and play, but if our pitcher is empty, then we are unable to fill others' cups.

7. A smile can go a long way. With a language barrier, in a culture that is not very big on displays of physical affection, a smile and pat on the arm became my way of connecting and communicating. I always pray that my love and sincerity will show in my eyes and smile, which gives me a greater chance of kicking a bad attitude so it is less likely to cloud my light.

8. America may not be the promised land, but it holds a lot of promise. Sure, there are plenty of things I would try to do differently if I were involved with politics, but after having lived in a land where corruption is literally part of the government system, I have come to value the freedom and liberty we have in America. The reason we have time to bicker and argue over such detailed rights and laws is because we are not having to fight to overcome genocide. There are countries that have no government assistance for the handicap, poor, and mentally impaired. There are countries with children whose parents make them beg in the streets since school is not affordable or required by the government. There are countries where there are separate laws for the rich and poor... literally, the law only applies to people who cannot afford to pay for it, and it is public knowledge, not an occasional under-handed scheme. We had numerous mothers offer us their children since it meant them going to America for a better life. As an American, I may be embarrassed to be associated with certain political figures, but I am extremely grateful to have been born in a free nation.

9. Different is not wrong. The houses, transportation, driving laws, fashion, food, etiquette... there are so many differences to be found between cultures. At first it was strange to witness so many men openly hanging on and lounging with other men, and women holding hands as they walked down the street. However, Bradley and I were the ones that merited stares whenever we held hands or kissed in public. Because, in the Khmer culture, public touching is to be non-romantic and non-sexual. So, if you are touching someone, then it should be in a non-romantic way. That seems weird and backwards to our culture where touching between adults in public is usually romantic, but it is just different. Honestly, I grew so accustomed to how the men act, that it threw me off when Byron commented on it during his visit in April. Something that had been weird to me was now normal. As a Christian, I do believe in God's standard of right and wrong, but I have learned that if it is not in the good book, then it is just a suggestion, not a rule.

10. Life is about people. Life is not about schedules and events. Sometimes people need you to wait, and that is okay. Because in reality, time does not exist, but souls do. I am expecting this lesson to be the most difficult to bring back to America, as the American culture coined the phrase, "time is money," and our culture tends to put productivity and money above people. Thankfully, I have the best example of putting people above anything and everything at Calvary.

Obviously, my time in Cambodia has taught me so much more than what I have listed here, as well as some things I probably have yet to learn. I am incredibly grateful for having had this experience, and I would not change it for anything. Here's to new experiences and old comforts. Cheers!