As I sit here, typing, I continue adjusting my sitting position; loosening my tense shoulders; straightening my back for the 500th time; releasing my locked jaw; all of it, over and over again. Today is one of those days. I would like to say that everyday I'm positive, cheery, and ready for whatever life throws my way, but, unfortunately, that would be a lie.
For the most part, I believe that I've done a great job of being the optimist in our American group. Often, where one sees a nasty bump in the road, I see a roller coaster ride; where someone hears a local laughing at their attempt to speak Khmer, I hear a group of friends enjoying a good story; when it's pointed out that the moto in front of us pretended to not see us, I assume they really didn't see us.
Well, sadly, today is not an "optimist" day.
Today I feel the weight of the culture around me. I am an outsider, and I am struggling to find the positive in that. I hear the hundreds of conversations occurring outside our windows, and I feel the frustration of the language barrier. I smell the trash that's been left too long to rot on our street, and I feel the frustration of the lack of civilization in the system. I taste the apple I bite into, only to realize that I bought the wrong ones, thanks to my inability to appropriately speak Khmer. I feel the sweat run down my back, longing for a day with a high less that 86 degrees. I see the half painted walls in our flat, waiting until I can finish the image alterations for some church work, and part of me wants to scream... even though it's my own choosing to decorate this place. Ugh! Bradley is feeling the frustration too, although in his own way, and this, of course, makes it all worse, as neither of us has the desire to be the peppy cheerleader for one another. Was it not just a week ago that we were happily celebrating 10 years, and this week we're striving to be civil?
Okay, you do not need to panic. We are fine, but this is something we deal with from time to time. I understand this is a completely normal part of culture shock, but that does not make it any less frustrating. Thankfully most of my days are enjoyable, and I go to bed feeling accomplished and gratified with my work for the Lord, my husband, others, and myself. Then there are those days, like today, where I wonder if I will ever understand this culture; if I will ever make a difference. Along with the culture shock, we are feeling homesick. We are missing family time and the annual New Year's Meeting with loved ones, which makes our hearts a little heavier right now. Another stress factor is our current lack of routine. Bradley is out of school for 3 weeks for the "winter" break. A lot of the expats (foreigners) fly home during the break to places that actually have a winter, which is the reason for the extra vacation week. Oddly enough, the holidays effect quite a bit here. I guess there are enough expats to cause this effect, and it has left a peculiar feeling in the air. Although I cannot fully describe the feeling, it is a cross between the energy of New York City, and the stillness on New Year's Day. This introvert is wrestling with the excessive vitality floating through the air, while Bradley is ready to bust through the stillness. Tomorrow, Lord willing, I will be able to return to my optimism, and today's frustration will dissipate. I wonder if Paul felt this culture shock at times during his mission work? It has really made me meditate on the greater shift in culture Jesus must have encountered when He came down to earth. It kind of makes me shutter. I guess I need to make that my goal: to handle frustration as gracefully as the Lord. If He can descend from Paradise, I can man up and deal with my pitiful frustration.
I enjoyed your responses last time, and I would love to hear from you again.
If you have lived, or are living abroad, what is your greatest frustration concerning culture shock?
If you have not lived abroad, out of the items I mentioned plaguing my senses, which do you think would most overwhelm you?
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Cheese and Chocolate
Everyone has indulgences. Mine? Mine are cheese and chocolate. Okay, so there are a few others, but food-wise, nothing beats thick, ooey-gooey, melted cheese that's been slightly browned from the oven. My mouth is already watering, and I haven't even described the decadent, rich, velvety yumminess that dark chocolate provides. *I'm now drooling!*
Well, in the kingdom of Cambodia, these two food items, common place in any grocery market in the states, are rare and expensive luxuries. I was relieved and surprised to find some pizza chains here. Some make what they think is pizza, and then there are a few that make the real thing. Pizza Company is my favorite. Although the Edwards have decided they do not care for it's Pizza-Hut-like pizza, and Bradley would prefer the fancy gourmet pizza served up by Brooklyn's Bistro, I crave their double cheese pizza with cheese-stuffed crust, along with their endless refill Coke. *sigh* Yeah, I know you healthy nuts are gagging, but you aren't in a land where cheese and pizza are special treats, not something you can pick up for $5 on the way home from work. {There's no need to comment on the fact that healthy nuts would not be picking up pizza on their way home. Just let me have this.} In mine and Marissa's hunt for cheese, we have found a few options that are occasionally doable. The grocery market nearest to us sometimes has mozzarella or "cheddar" cheese. The "" are for the fact that the cheddar suspiciously resembles mozzarella with a little less moisture. I'm able to get the equivalent of roughly 10-12 ounces of cheese for $3.30, which is almost three times what I paid in the states, and with a grocery budget of about 1/3 of what it was in back home, cheese does not appear on our menu too often. Then there's a grocery market in town that has a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese that's 1.5 kg, which is a little over 3 pounds. Unless my memory fails me, a bag that size back home would cost me around $6-12, depending on the brand, store, etc. Well, for this incredibly amazing bag, you have to fork over $39 USD. That's right. That's almost a 1/3 of my monthly grocery expenses. So, yeah, that won't ever be in my shopping cart.
Then there's chocolate. With the French influence here, there are pockets of places with delicious pastries and goodies, but again, we have to yield to the idea of "everything in moderation." This one is as much for my hips and blood sugar level as it is for our finances. My favorite find here is the Double Chocolate Cookie Dough mix. {What is my obsession with double delights?} A precious commodity, we have tried eating it several different ways, but have settled on living dangerously with the raw form. Raw cookie dough out of the fridge. I mean, seriously, are there many things better than that? At the lowest price, these packs sell for nearly $4 at one location, but the Edwards and our family cleaned out our market a while back when they went on sale for $1.10 each! You would've thought that Missy and I had discovered oil, and the guys were as proud and happy as new fathers. Well, we just finished our last pack a few weeks ago. Sad day. However, care package brownie mixes have been filling the chocolate void that was left in our lives. {Thanks mom!} So, even though it means juggling the finances a little here and there, we try to allow ourselves the little, intermittent luxuries of life, and mine are cheese and chocolate.
I'm tired of only hearing myself talk. Please, I want to hear from you. What food indulgences do you think you would miss most if you were living abroad? Or if you have or are living abroad, what common food items do you long to taste?
Well, in the kingdom of Cambodia, these two food items, common place in any grocery market in the states, are rare and expensive luxuries. I was relieved and surprised to find some pizza chains here. Some make what they think is pizza, and then there are a few that make the real thing. Pizza Company is my favorite. Although the Edwards have decided they do not care for it's Pizza-Hut-like pizza, and Bradley would prefer the fancy gourmet pizza served up by Brooklyn's Bistro, I crave their double cheese pizza with cheese-stuffed crust, along with their endless refill Coke. *sigh* Yeah, I know you healthy nuts are gagging, but you aren't in a land where cheese and pizza are special treats, not something you can pick up for $5 on the way home from work. {There's no need to comment on the fact that healthy nuts would not be picking up pizza on their way home. Just let me have this.} In mine and Marissa's hunt for cheese, we have found a few options that are occasionally doable. The grocery market nearest to us sometimes has mozzarella or "cheddar" cheese. The "" are for the fact that the cheddar suspiciously resembles mozzarella with a little less moisture. I'm able to get the equivalent of roughly 10-12 ounces of cheese for $3.30, which is almost three times what I paid in the states, and with a grocery budget of about 1/3 of what it was in back home, cheese does not appear on our menu too often. Then there's a grocery market in town that has a bag of shredded mozzarella cheese that's 1.5 kg, which is a little over 3 pounds. Unless my memory fails me, a bag that size back home would cost me around $6-12, depending on the brand, store, etc. Well, for this incredibly amazing bag, you have to fork over $39 USD. That's right. That's almost a 1/3 of my monthly grocery expenses. So, yeah, that won't ever be in my shopping cart.
Then there's chocolate. With the French influence here, there are pockets of places with delicious pastries and goodies, but again, we have to yield to the idea of "everything in moderation." This one is as much for my hips and blood sugar level as it is for our finances. My favorite find here is the Double Chocolate Cookie Dough mix. {What is my obsession with double delights?} A precious commodity, we have tried eating it several different ways, but have settled on living dangerously with the raw form. Raw cookie dough out of the fridge. I mean, seriously, are there many things better than that? At the lowest price, these packs sell for nearly $4 at one location, but the Edwards and our family cleaned out our market a while back when they went on sale for $1.10 each! You would've thought that Missy and I had discovered oil, and the guys were as proud and happy as new fathers. Well, we just finished our last pack a few weeks ago. Sad day. However, care package brownie mixes have been filling the chocolate void that was left in our lives. {Thanks mom!} So, even though it means juggling the finances a little here and there, we try to allow ourselves the little, intermittent luxuries of life, and mine are cheese and chocolate.
I'm tired of only hearing myself talk. Please, I want to hear from you. What food indulgences do you think you would miss most if you were living abroad? Or if you have or are living abroad, what common food items do you long to taste?
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