Living in a time capsule

In elementary school we did a project, called a time capsule. We filled a container with things that we felt defined our present day life. The time capsule was then buried for discovery in the future. Although I have no idea whether our time capsule has been opened, destroyed, or forgotten, I can imagine what it would be like to open a piece of history. I'll admit, shamefully, that if you want to talk about historical wars, dates, and concepts, I struggle to recall such information, as a large part of me has no desire to know when such-and-such country slaughtered another civilization. The parts of history I find fascinating, are the whys and hows, not the whens. Since I agree it's important to learn from past mistakes, my brain stores the "vital" knowledge, and tends to forget the "unnecessary" information, like dates, places, and sometimes names. {Let me issue a formal apology to all of the history teachers and majors out there. Please know I have no intention of offending you. We all have our purpose and our gifts, and let's just say that my comprehension of historical facts will not be mentioned in my eulogy.}

I'll use an example that has been on my mind lately. Now in Cambodia, I'm constantly reminded of this people's recent war against genocide, which brings the struggles of WWII, the genocide of which I'm most familiar, to the forefront of my mind. Although I cannot tell you the start and end dates of WWII, there are certain details that resonate with me. I am unable to put into words what I feel about Adolph Hitler, and the horrendous tragedy he forced onto so many. Being unable to change history, I do the only thing I can, I learn from him. The combination of Hitler's bitterness from early life's trials, his personal insecurities, leading to false pride, and his belief in Social Darwinism, all led to one of the most grotesque injustices ever administered to mankind. As with all historical data, I process the needed information, in order to decide how to make better decisions.

• Bitterness: As a Christian, I look at every trial as an opportunity. In the moment I may give into anger, sadness, or any of the host of emotions minor and major tragedies may evoke, but in the end, I always do my best to rise above and gain control of my emotions. Every situation presents us with two options: 1) Will I allow this trial to make me bitter? or 2) Will I allow this trail to make me better? Hitler, like many of us from time to time, believed he was owed something. Death took most of his family at an early age, with both of his parents dying before his 20th birthday. The seeds of grief and sorrow were planted, and then, watered with frustration and anger, hatred was the fruit brought forth. Hatred always needs an escape, a target, and Hitler found many. Instead of being thankful for the blessing of family, and for the time he had with them, he chose to allow bitterness to reign. Only focusing on the loss in death, he overlooked the gift of life.

• Insecurities: I make it a practice to identify my personal insecurities, and, in that way, I keep them in check. I'm absolutely obsessed with psychology, and how the brain works. Since our brain works on a "cause-and-effect" system, they are constantly being programmed. Everything we feel, hear, smell, taste, and see is working together to map out our personalities and beliefs. I am a firm believer in Nurture w/ Nature, not Nurture vs. Nature, as I am a personal example. {I didn't meet my blood father until I was 14, and then, his side of the family when I was 17. Not knowing anything about their family personality traits, I was fascinated to discover that I possessed some of their characteristics. However, some of my traits have a different flavor, due to both the nature inherited from my mother, as well as the nurturing part of my upbringing.} I believe our core personality is set at birth (Nature), with traits such as introvert/extrovert, serious/goofy, optimistic/pessimistic, etc., already carved into our being. Then, our circumstances, environment, and caregivers' personalities and beliefs (Nurture) work together to mold the type of clay that is already present. The great thing about all of this, is that it has been scientifically proven that we have the ability to "re-program" ourselves. No, I'm not talking shock therapy here, that's just cruel, but rather, the idea of mind-over-matter is true. If we want to overcome our insecurities, our upbringing, our flaws, all we have to do is re-program ourselves. Okay, so it's not as easy as it sounds, but, for me, knowing that it's doable, is enough motivation to strive for perfection. Hitler, on the other hand, gave into his insecurities by attempting to hide them behind the fearless and merciless Fuehrer. Instead of either accepting his flaws, or striving to overcome them, he chose to push others beneath himself, in an endeavor to feel more superior. According to research, Hitler was striving for a superficial perfection, an obsession that led millions down a fatal path. 

• Evolution: In studying the theory of evolution, or Darwinism, I have learned that it is titled the theory of evolution because it cannot be proven. I believe in micro-evolution, also known as adaptation, which has been tested and proven continuously. However, macro-evolution, which involves the "big bang theory" and the mutation of species, has never been scientifically proven. If you haven't guessed already, I believe in macro-creation, or the theory of creation, which states that there is a Creator of mankind, also known as Intelligent Design. {Technically speaking, although evidence exists for both macros, neither of these macros qualify as theories since you cannot test whether creation was a bizarre happen stance or a planned masterpiece.} Mirco-creation, just like micro-evolution, is also continuously proven, every time a man and woman (two greater beings), create a baby (a lesser being). So, in a sense, no one can deny micro-evolution or micro-creation, but the belief in macro-evolution or macro-creation, is simply that: a belief. Hitler ascribed to this belief on a social level. His branch of Social Darwinism promoted racism, justified social and political inequality, and glorified war. He titled his book "My Struggles," the idea taken from the laws of nature, discovered by Darwin, where, in the animal kingdom, there was no such thing as morality, just survival. Survival of the fittest denied the Christian principles such as "love your neighbor" and  "pray for your enemies," as an evolved creature would not be made in the image of God, but simply a clever animal overcoming death. "Whoever would live, let him fight, and he who does not want to do battle in this world of eternal struggle, does not deserve life." (excerpt from "Mein Kempf" translated "My Struggle.") This same man who enacted a law for the humane killing of lobsters and crabs, heartlessly slaughtered human beings. His gross misuse of scientific data led to the murderous death of millions. I do not feel the need to elaborate on the many lessons learned from this man's choice to embrace Social Darwinism. {Just to clarify, there are plenty of Darwinists who do not subscribe to Social Darwinism, whether fully or at least not to this degree. I know plenty of kind-hearted people who believe in macro-evolution.}

So, what does all of this have to do with Cambodia? This country suffered at the hand of its own "Hitler" when Pol Pot led the nation back into an agrarian society, as he sought after what he considered "pure." Millions of people were tortured and executed during Pol Pot's rise. Walking through the streets of Phnom Penh, I often feel like a sore thumb, sticking out for all to see, but it's not due to my light skin or my caucasoid features. It's my glasses. Something seemingly unimportant, especially in the American culture, and yet, at times I feel as though I have a huge spider crawling on my face, bidding stares. I have seen very few others with glasses here. Granted, it could simply be the case that this culture prefers contacts to glasses, but I cannot help but wonder if it's more than that. During the Khmer Rouge, bespectacled individuals were seen as intelligent, a threat to Pol Pot's plan, and were therefore killed. Pol Pot wanted to ensure these men and women would not hinder his operation. Part of me constantly wonders if I'm a reminder of a loved one, lost to Pol Pot's injustice; a reminder of their bloody past. Reading into some of their history, just like with the holocaust, it makes my stomach turn. To think that anyone could willingly harm another human, simply because they believe themselves to be of more importance, is sickening.

The following is an excerpt taken from http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2012/02/20122314155454169.html

"To accomplish this, they abolished money, free markets, normal schooling, private property, foreign clothing styles, religious practices, and traditional Khmer culture. Public schools, pagodas, mosques, churches, universities, shops, and government buildings were shut or turned into prisons, stables, re-education camps, and granaries. There was no public or private transportation, no private property, and no non-revolutionary entertainment. Leisure activities were severely restricted. People throughout the country, including the leaders of the CPK, had to wear black costumes, which were their traditional revolutionary clothes." Public gatherings were also banned, and any form of family relationships were frowned upon.


So, here I am. It feels as though I am living in 4 different dimensions, all at once. Somehow, 1883, 1919, 1950, and 2014 have merged. During the Khmer Rouge, a dystopian society prevailed, and its mark is still visible today. Now that the worthless killing has ceased, people are beginning life anew, while still feeling the aftermath. Allow me to demonstrate...

Trapped in the 19th century
Nice to meet you neighbor. I am a pioneer woman from 1883. We transport our farm-fresh produce and rice with our cart, pulled by our donkeys or cattle, and sell them to other families and communities. We have plenty of chickens to help keep the bug population down, and if you can catch one of the feathery fellows at about 4 months old, they're mighty tender and delicious! We even have the great blessing of housing a deep well on our property.  I wash my laundry by hand, and since electricity hasn't yet reached these parts, we rise and set with the sun. However, for the occasional card game after dinner, we have hooked up a light to the car battery we purchased. We also use it to  charge our I-phones.

Wait! What?!

Yes, we have been in homes almost identical to this description. Allow me to continue...

Life after the great war
I am a merchant, who has set up shop in my home. After the war ended, it took a while for life to resemble some sort of normal. But now the trickle has become a flow, as more and more people struggle to pick up the pieces of their broken lives. We have had much success, as my husband was able to get a job in the big city. It's a bit of drive, but thanks to the war ending, motorcycles are now more readily available. The papers are saying that 1920 will be a promising year. My grand-parents live with us in our 2-story, 3-bedroom home, and they help out with the children and storefront, whenever their health allows. We lost my father in the war, but we're thankful to still have each other. My mother and youngest brother will be moving in with her family, but we hope to still see each other during the holidays, and, of course, there's always Facebook.

I'm sorry, what year is this?

Yes, we have neighbors with similar stories.

Arriving at the space age
Howdy y'all! I'm a housewife, and 1950 has been so good to us! I'm so excited about my new lil' fridge that my buttons are about to burst! The freezer even has a fan. So, when no one's lookin', I open that baby up, and I let the happiness blow all over me. We got us a double, yes, I said double gas burner stove top, just like the ones in them cute lil' ole magazines. My husband loves me so much, that he even stretched our budget to buy us a luxurious air conditionin' unit! It blows the breaker when we try to use the electric tea kettle at the same time, but since we only use the unit at night, it's not usually a problem. I spend my days cooking, cleaning, and improving my mind. Well, okay, maybe I sneak in the occasional tv show, but it's so hard not to watch something during the heat of the day, when it gets so hot you almost forget your own name. I haven't done it yet, but when the really steamy days come, I might just curl up in our bedroom, flip on the a/c, and surf the web until the sting of the day passes.

Okay lady, the web was not around in 1950.

Not my best pic, but isn't our tiny fridge so cute!

Yes, I feel fully confident that this is how I appear to some of the locals. There average 35 kilowatts of usage a month to our 150 kilowatts leaves the impression that we're wealthy and wasteful. If they only understood that we feel like we've stepped back in time, giving up necessities that are luxuries in this culture.

Embracing the American dream
Same, same! I tots love Beiber, and I cannot wait to meet him! Right now I'm going to school, and helping my parents out with the farm. However, my dream is to move to America! I want to go to school on a scholarship, since I'm a poor Cambodian. All of the Americans here give us money, so I'm sure I will have no problem once I move there. My mother hopes that I'll marry an American, since she wants me to be rich, but she thinks my skin is too dark. My girlfriends and I buy the cream that bleaches our skin, but I'm scared that I'm still not white enough. My friend, Rina, even dyed her hair blond, but my father will not let me. I am more American than Cambodian, as I wear all their fashions, and drink a lot of beer. I learned how to be American from watching the movies at the theater. Their high schools are amazing! I wish I could be there now. Everyone is rich in America.

Oh, poor thing. If she only knew.

Most of the ads here either feature caucasian

women, or very light-skinned Asian women.

Yes, there are young men and women who believe this is all true. Thanks to NGO's, tourists feeling guilty, Hollywood, and our "lovely" American pop culture, there is a generation here that thinks everything will be fixed if they can get to America. Please do not be mistaken, there are Khmer people who are ambitious within their own country, but most would rather move to, or at least copy the "land of opportunity."

At first glance, the differences in eras, living side by side, is compelling, but then, upon closer examination, I am saddened at the loss of a people's identity. Pol Pot stripped this land of individuality, and left a people stranded, unsure of who they are or were. The older generation struggles with distrust of his neighbor, since at one time his neighbor was his enemy, and the younger generation wrestles with having motivation in this world where survival is all that counts.

My desire is for this nation to overcome the evil that temporarily prevailed, and that they strive for betterment over bitterness.

My hope is that we are able to share the Lord's truths, in order to enable this people to regain trust with one another, and provide a sense of purpose in their lives.

My prayer is for an added portion of the Father's wisdom, as well as His empathy, as we strive to dust off and sort through the many lives we encounter in this living time capsule.