Wednesday, May 28, 2014

What packing has taught me...

The monotony of packing can beat you down some days, but mostly I've enjoyed it, as much as you can enjoying packing. Some have wondered how packing could take so long, but when you're having to decide what to keep and what to sell, it can be difficult... for us. Since we'd never planned to do mission work to this extent, we have quite a bit of furniture and stuff that we've collected, with the intention of keeping it all. Once we made the decision to go to Cambodia, we were very careful with our purchases, but we'd already made a decent stock pile at this point. It's also different from moving to another house down the road or in another state. I won't see over 75% of my stuff for 2 years. That means that simply writing "kitchen" on a box isn't going to help me much when I'm trying to find the measuring spoons upon our return. Plus, I don't know where Bradley will be working, or if we'll be keeping our home. Two years will fly by, in a sense, but it's also a long time to try and guess where you'll be in life. Then there's the case of trying to keep storage costs as low as possible, which means being very conservative with space while packing. Between that and labeling each box more specifically than I'd normally do, packing can consume quite a bit of time. While I've devoted most of my free time to packing, Bradley's spent most of his finishing house projects. So, I've compiled a list of things that packing has taught me. They are the following:

1) Bradley and I have too much stuff.

2) You can pack too many heavy items in a large box...

3) Trying to condense a 2-story home into 2 suitcases is quite a challenge.

4) Space Bags are amazing for storing clothing, but not for storing children. Did you know this? I was in the middle of stuffing sweaters into a bag, and discovered this label on the Space Bag:


For some strange reason, children don't pack well in these bags. Of course, it doesn't really matter for us, but I haven't the foggiest how the Edwards are going to manage storing their children for the trip. Oh well, their problem to solve.

5) A home isn't defined by the items found in it, but rather by the people. I'm thankful for this, as that means that our "home" is coming with us.

6) I am able to function when everything around me is out of place. {It's not preferred, mind you, but I'm getting pretty good at overlooking the piles of stuff to focus on the clean and tidy kitchen.*sigh*}

7) Finally, we are blessed beyond our deserving. We've had so many friends and family come help us with packing, painting, hammering, scraping, stuffing, prepping, staining, moving, storing, and more. To those individuals who have used their time off to assist us in our move, thank you. Your act of service and love means more to us than we can verbalize. I've been so busy when we've had helpers, that I don't have a picture of each person, but hopefully this one will suffice:

Thanks Pierce!

In conclusion, I will leave you with a packing poem.

Packing, packing, all the day
Packing, sorting, give away
Label, label, marker dry
Label, shake pen, one more try
Taping, taping, all the while
Taping, add box to the pile
Hoping, hoping, almost done
Hoping, yearning for some fun
Craigslist, Craigslist, everything
Craigslist, all but wedding ring
Typing, typing, one more post
Typing, hungry, eat some toast
Stalling, stalling, something new
Stalling, something else to do
Baking, baking, something good
Baking, use up all the food
Packing, packing, yet again
Packing, will it ever end?

Hope this leaves you with a smile. Ciao!

Let's go fly a kite...

This past Sunday was my going away party - from Zach and Max. :o( 
Steve and Bev were wonderful, and I couldn't have asked for a better "send off" than they provided. With that said, it was still rough. I had bought gifts for the boys, as they'd done for me. After dinner, the boys opened their presents: 2 dvds. The first one, Happy Together - Veggietales, and the second,  Mary Poppins. I also had a special gift for Zachary: my stuffed dog, Frisco. He was a present from Bradley when we were dating, and anytime he's gone out of town or out of the country, I'm not ashamed to say I've snuggled with Frisco to keep the blues away. So, I told Zach that anytime he missed me, he could hug Frisco tight and know that I was thinking about him too. For those who don't know, Bunny is a BIG part of Zach's life. She has been his stuffed friend for his lifetime, and when I explained Frisco to him, he commented,"maybe Frisco can take care of me when I can't find Bunny"...that meant a lot. Frisco is by no means a replacement for Bunny, but it's felt really good to see Zach carrying the both of them around, wherever he goes.

Then it was time for my gift. I had prepared myself for the latest Iron Man toy, as I knew Zachary and Max were picking out my present, but Beverly had steered them in a more "girly" direction, thankfully. ;o)  I opened a small gift box to find a charm bracelet. I'm not a big jewelry person, and have never really been into charm bracelets, necklaces, etc., but, I'm a changed woman. {Well, to some extent.} It's amazing how when the gift is given by two little people you adore more than air, it's the best gift you ever hoped to receive. Dangling from the beautiful silver chain were 3 simple charms, and I love each one of them. Zach explained each one, as I'll do now, almost in his words.

The pizza is to make you think of Max.
Because he likes pizza so much.

The kitty is for me because I love your kitties.
And cats make me think of you.

Then the heart was prompted by Bev, with one
side bearing the name "Zach."

And the other side inscribed with "Max."

I am so thankful I will get to carry my boys with me, and although I'm not usually sentimental about things, this is one gift I hold dear to me heart already. Next to my wedding ring, it's the most precious piece of jewelry I own. As if that wasn't enough, Steve and Bev had constructed a fun and beautiful video of the boys. Yes, the tears were flowing, along with a painful smile and laughter. Anytime I miss my babies, I'll be able to watch the video while wearing my bracelet, and maybe they'll provide some comfort. All in all, it was a decently happy occasion, and this family will never know the depth of my gratitude for not only allowing me into their lives, but for giving me a precious piece of their hearts. My heart is bigger and better for having know them, and I thank God for bringing us together.

Mary Poppins was a favorite in my childhood, but it has a much greater meaning, now, in my adult life. Although I'm not Mary Poppins, and my story isn't the same, I've always loved what she stood for: fantastical structure. She provided rules and safety for Jane and Michael, while ensuring fun, and instilling a positive outlook on life. That's been my greatest desire as a mother, but as I've not had that privilege, I have been blessed to share this with Zach and Max. When I gave them the dvd, I made a movie date with them, and they accepted. Tuesday we popped some popcorn, shut the curtains, made a couple of forts, and settled in for our show. Zach was wanting to know when Mary Poppins was going to make her appearance, and once she did, he was glued to the screen. It was precious getting to watch them take in the experience. As Mary Poppins hung the mirror she'd pulled from her magical carpet bag, Zach turned to me and said, "next to you, Mary Poppins is the 2nd best nanny in the world!" I, of course, burst into laughter, but was extremely honored to not only be nominated for "world's best nanny," but to have beat out Mary Poppins! 


Movie forts for grand debut of Mary Poppins.

Max, after his umbrella number had ended.

Zach with Bunny and Frisco.

I had not realized how many songs from this movie I'd held onto over the years, but several times during the show, Zach exclaimed, "hey, you've sung that one to us before!" Max begged for an umbrella, and danced with Bert, Mary Poppins, and the rest of the gang. Then the final number came - my favorite: Let's go fly a kite. I've forever treasured the moment when Mr. Banks finally realized that his family was more important than money and status. When he finally crafted a kite to share with his children... there are no words. When we went to see Saving Mr. Banks, the tears streamed down my cheeks during the scene when this tune was performed. There were so many emotions revealed by the characters and creators, and personally for me, the beauty of an adult delighting in walking into a child's world is priceless. I couldn't help thinking about Zach and Max. Their parents have allowed me to build a kite for these boys, and I've enjoyed every moment we've been able to fly it together. Although the wind has changed directions, I'll hold onto our kite until the end of time.

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Lasting Impressions

Wow! Okay, so a lot has happened since my last post. Good and sad. I'll go in chronological order to be sure I cover everything. I've grouped these separate occasions together because each of them has something to do with lasting impressions. Everyone makes an impression on me. Whether it's the guy walking his dog in our neighborhood, the cashier at the store, my friend across the table, or my husband. The impressions are all different and vary, but the fact that each individual stands out to me, makes me want to do my best and be my best always. I often fail, but I hope that my lasting impression will ultimately be a positive one. One that leaves no doubt who I am, what I stand for, and that I love and appreciate each and every soul God has created.

Two Fridays back I joined Bradley on his final Soaring to the Symphony event. Four years ago, my husband came up with a brilliant plan to not only allow his students the occasion for added culture, but to also enhance their life skills. His school is within walking distance of a DART station, and with his networking skills (passed down from both of his parents), he was able to set up a wonderful evening for his young musicians at the Meyerson Symphony Center. So, for the past 5 years, with chaperones and students, we've made our way to the train station, hopped on, and enjoyed an evening of dining and instrumental entertainment. Before hand, Bradley sets up a demonstration with both the DART and one of the musicians from the Dallas Symphony {BIG THANKS to Ashley at the Meyerson for all of her assistance with the meal and tickets!!!}. His students learn appropriate dress, behavior, and safety when using public transportation. This year I had a wonderful group of girls! Holly, Kate, Kathy, Keeana, and Xitzel are beautiful young women, and I was privileged to be their orchestra 'mom' for the evening. All of the young men and women were dressed beautifully. 












I don't have a picture, but this year, after the concert, we were able to go back and shake hands with the maestro! Bradley arranged it, and several of the students looked like they were going to burst or pass out with excitement. It was adorable to see their true love and appreciation for the art of music. I am so proud of my hard-working husband, who is a HUGE reason why they love the art. It was sad to say goodbye to such a fun and beneficial tradition, but I have no doubt that this annual event has left a lasting impression on many, if not all who have attended. I am honored to have been apart of Soaring to the Symphony. Farewell Perry Eagles, and I pray that you all soar to your highest height!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another bittersweet moment was Bradley's end-of-the-year concert. Every moment was precious, as we knew it was our last with this talented group of students. If it wasn't emotional enough already, Bradley's assistant director, Eric, wrote an amazing piece of music in memory of his father. It is entitled Lasting Impressions, and to top it off, Eric commented that it was fitting for the evening, as Bradley has left an impression on everyone he's contacted from his colleagues to his students to the parents. So, the piece had a double meaning for the evening, and it brought most of us to tears. Bravo Eric. Bravo. It was an awesome experience for the students to have the opportunity to accompany Eric on the piano, as well as to see the beauty of music at it's full potential: an expression of the heart, soul, and mind. Several of the young ladies were sobbing to the point of not being able to see, but they all kept playing. It was extremely moving, and I will treasure the moment forever. I told Bradley that many teachers have left and moved on over the years, but not many have the majority of their students crying at the thought of their leaving. He has been gifted with one of the largest hearts I've ever had the privilege of knowing, and I feel confident that God needs his heart in Cambodia.




For the final piece, Bradley began another tradition five years ago. The last piece at the end of the year concert is a movement from Holst's Jupiter, and all alumni are invited back to play with the current varsity orchestra group. Twenty-five, that's right, 25 of his alumni returned for this piece, and 5 were bass players {Bradley's instrument of choice}. There were 8 basses total, and it sounded amazing! Out of the 25, five of the students are seniors, and we were so honored that they had the desire to be a part of this final send off for their beloved director. After the song concluded, Bradley hung his head, trying to hold back the tears. At first, the only movement was the applause from the audience {it was a packed house with standing room only}, and then the concert master, Kathy, sweetly trotted over to Bradley and wrapped her little arms around him. Then one by one, the students flooded around their teacher.



There were a lot of proud moms that night, but I feel confident, none were more proud than Bradley's. She started him on this road to becoming a musician, and what a path he has made! I am humbled by the thought that I am married to such a man, and that I have been granted the chance to be a member of the Perry Orchestra family. Thank you to all of the young men and women, to the parents, and especially to my better half for allowing me this opportunity to fly alongside each of you. Bradley, I hope and pray that I can be the wind beneath your wings.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Packing your life up makes you reflect... a lot.

Trying to sort through what you need, what you want, and what can wait until you return has been one of the greatest challenges through all of this. Preparing my household for whatever the future holds is kind of crippling, if I allow myself to dwell too much. So, I keep moving and packing. However, every once in a while, I stop to dwell. As I was working on my office and reading corner, I came across some old photos. Precious photos.

Coming from a broken home (I mean no disrespect to my parents), one of the very few blessings is that you end up with more grandparents than the average child. I had 9; 4 grandfathers and 5 grandmothers. Because of life and distance, I am closer to some than others, but I love them all. The downside to having so many grandparents, is that you have more to lose. I was extremely blessed to avoid a personal loss until I was 23 years old. I received a call that Grandad had been taken to the hospital, and they'd found spots on his lungs. 2 weeks later, he passed away from a brain tumor. As a teenager I have many fond memories of sitting with this man in his living room, listening to the endless stories of living on a farm in Leveland. We shared laughter, stories, and old shows together. Since he was crippled, my Meme was the one who had to work to support their household, and Grandad's love for her dedication to him has always stuck with me. I got to know my Grandad in a way that I think many don't; he was my friend. In some ways he was my best friend. I can still hear him laughing at Tim Conway, and I remember the two of us watching hockey, talking and routing for our team. He'd eat his Blue Bell ice cream with bananas, and I'd soak up every tale he had to offer. I still wonder if he ever knew how much I loved him.



My next loss was that of my Grandpap. Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet him until I was 18 years old, but I am so thankful for the time I had with him. The land and homestead he built is only a part of the legacy he has left behind, and I will be forever grateful to have hugged and loved such a man.

Aside from my mother, if there were ever 2 people who left a lasting impression on me, in my young childhood, it was my Mama and Papa. They not only spoiled me, as grandparents should, but they helped instill a confidence within me that led me to be the woman I am today. I've always said that every little girl deserves to have a Papa like mine, and for some reason God blessed me with him. Every time I heard their voices, in person, over the phone, or recorded, a feeling of complete comfort and love came over me. When the call came that Papa had a brain tumor, and that hospice had been called in, I hurried down to snatch whatever time I had left. It's amazing how love makes you disregard the machines and everything surrounding the one you admire. I sat there, holding Papa's hand, making sure he knew I loved him more than I could express, and his response, "I love you too sugar. Now, go tell Mama to put some money in a bag for you. I don't need it anymore." My response, "Papa, I don't want the money. I want you." He smiled, and closed his eyes for a rest. I'm thankful that although he'll never know the vast influence he's had over my life, I was able to tell him how much I loved him. He is the reason I knew I was worth marrying someone like Bradley.



After Papa's funeral, I told Bradley I was worried about Mama. I didn't think she'd make it without Papa. A year later, her body was laid to rest. There are so many things that make me think of Mama. Home cooked meals; gas ovens; almost any 70's decor; elevator type music played in grocery stores; and the list goes on. My cousin and I used to fight over who would get to ride in the front seat of the grocery cart because we wanted to rub the soft skin on Mama's arm. Although Mama didn't play with us like Papa {he was known to get in trouble for being a big kid - one time he used a McDonald's tray to slide down the slide} she was always there to listen. I'll forever miss her smokey, southern accent.



A month after Mama passed, Grandma Rosey breathed her last. I don't have any pictures of her, but I am grateful to have had her in my life. It had been many years since we'd been a steady part of each others' lives, but I will treasure the memories.

Why? It's so easy to ask "why" when we lose a loved one. But I choose to ask why me? Why was I so blessed to have had such wonderful, loving people in my life? The only answer I can find is God. He knew I'd need these precious souls, and although I don't deserve to have had them, I'll give my thanks. Their influence, their love, is the definition of lasting impressions.

Friday, May 2, 2014

Comfort Cookies and Amazing Animals

Yesterday afternoon, arriving home from playing at the park, the boys enjoyed a snack with a show. Usually we do something somewhat healthy, but for some reason Zachary believed that daddy had said he could have a cookie. Zach is an excellent eater, overall, so his request for a cookie was quite unusual. If Max had asked, it would have been routine, but for Z-man to make this request, I felt the need to check with Steve. He affirmed that a cookie had indeed been promised the night before. He explained that Zachary had a break down the prior evening. One minute my little guy was chilling on the couch, and the next minute he was sobbing, due to the thought of missing me. So, mommy and daddy consoled him, and part of that consoling was baking cookies {Steve even made an emergency run for white chocolate chips}.  I'd had a pretty good week until that moment. I've prayed about it, but am still struggling with some feelings of guilt. Although the cookies looked delicious, I couldn't eat any... for crying out loud, I was the cause for the 'need' for those cookies! I hate this back and forth emotional stuff!  On the flip side, I'm so thankful Zach is able to let it out and share his emotions. Steve and Bev have been champs about it all, and although we're all saddened at my leaving, I feel good that our focus has been on being strong for Zach. I've gotten teary-eyed or choked up a few times with him, but for the most part, I've been able to put my feelings aside until I get home. {Poor Bradley!}

So, to cheer up my Friday, I decided to look over some photos from our zoo trip, last Thursday. Bradley took the day off from school to spend it with the 3 of us, and it was a such blessing! I treasured every intoxicating moment. I believe this was, by far, the best trip we've made, as the slight chill in the air made the animals very lively. We saw elephants swimming, dancing, and wrestling. One of the orangutans flashed the peace sign at the boys. Max was pretty ecstatic, and happily shared his excitement with anyone passing by, pointing to the sky and saying, "monkeys! monkeys!" We learned a lot about the different animals, thanks to the wonderfully informative signs near every animals' home. The boys had so much fun, but the highlight of the day was definitely when we got to see the lion relieve himself...completely. Max is still telling everyone, "tiger poop!" And Zachary is still correcting him that it was a lion, not a tiger. Neither of these two are lacking the natural boy-tendency to be gross and obsessed with bodily functions. Oh boys! ;o)

Checking out the flamingos.

Discussing the difference between antlers and horns.
Do you know? Go learn something new today! ;o) 






This guy was in exactly the same position when
we left the zoo... 4 hours later!

Fascinated by the white rhino.
The actual animal, not Bradley (his football nickname.)





Max singing about the white tiger.



Max, trying to flap his wings too.

Their was an awesome Gigantabugs exhibit!

Zach was so excited to see the scorpions!

Max, wanting to be like "Bubba."


Right before we left, we were able to see the
baby elephants wrestling. How is something
so big still so adorable?